1 year

dear john mark,

it has been one year since you were born. one year since you came into my life and changed my heart completely. as i sit here, tears are filling my eyes as i think of holding my sweet, helpless baby in the hospital last year, and i smile thinking of hilarious, beautiful little person you are becoming with each new day.

in church earlier today we sang the song "how great is our God." i cried remembering all the nights i sat in your bedroom, rocking you and singing that song over you as you cried. i cried as i remembered continuing to rock you long into the night just because i could.

and today (well, yesterday, but i wasn't with a computer) on your very first birthday, there's a few things that i want you to know.

first- i hope you know that you are loved. oh, sweet boy, how much you are loved! i love you. your daddy loves you. grandparents... great-grandparents... aunts, uncles, cousins... friends... teachers... you are LOVED! we may not always show our love to you in the right way, but it is my prayer that you know with every breath you take that someone, somewhere is thinking of you and loving you in that very moment.

second- you are fearfully and wonderfully made! you have a master designer that knit you together in my womb. God made you exactly the way you are, with every muscle made to His specification; each hair on your head numbered and fashioned to His perfection; ten fingers and ten toes put on your hands and feet by the One who has made the earth. i know a day will come when you won't feel wonderful- but, baby, you are! you are beautiful and when the world saw you on your birthday, in unison our hearts cried out "he is very, very good!"

also- i believe in you. i know without any doubt in my mind that you can do anything you set your mind to. i can already see a stubborn streak in you- and i'm sure you will use that one day to achieve absolute GREATNESS! i can't wait to see what you are going to become as you grow into a man.

finally, and this is easily THE most important thing that I could ever hope for you- i want you to know JESUS. i want you to know the greatness of our God. more than any other thing i want to see you accomplish with your life- i long for you to know my Savior, to know Him intimately. i hope that with each day of your life, you know His love and that He is wrapping His arms around you. and someday, when you feel like you are all alone (because, as much as it hurts my mommy heart, i know that day will come), i want you to know with all assurance that you are NEVER alone. the God of the universe is with you. you need only to turn to Him.

these are just a few of the things that i pray you know on this very special day. happy birthday, sweet heart. i love you.

love,
mommy

3 years

3 years ago, we said "i do."
we stood before family and friends,
pledging our love and our lives to one another
and most importantly,
to our God.

3 years ago, we made a promise.
to love each other
to wrap our lives
around the One who created this life.

3 years ago, i loved you-
not just for being my fiance,
but for what i saw in you:
kindness.
compassion.
grace.

3 years ago, i never guessed-
how our love would change.
grow.
mold into something beautiful.


i loved you then.
i love you now...
with a love that is deeper.
stronger.
purer.

and i will love you 100 years from now,
if i am only so lucky.

birthday

I hope that everyone got their birthday invitations in the mail! I wanted to make sure that you all knew that parents and grandparents of the kiddos are invited to the party also! If you didn't get an invitation in the mail, I probably don't have your correct information! Please give me a call or email me and I'll let you know the details! We can't wait to see everyone!

we have a walker!

John Mark officially walks now. He gets so excited to be walking that he ends up going in circles!! Unfortunately, I was out of town with the camera all day, so I missed this momentous occasion and we were unable to get it on video. Don't you worry- I will video it as soon as I see it!

And this is just a good picture of us as a family, nothing to do with walking.

John Mark got to celebrate his very first fourth of July in Central High/Duncan. It was so nice to have the whole family together, even though it was under sad circumstances.

John Mark spent most of his time eating (shocking, I know), climbing around on a little stool he found, standing up, and generally getting spoiled. He LOVED the fireworks, even though he was up way past his bed time. I was holding him and he nearly jumped out of my arms trying to see everything that was going on around him. I think I need to get ready for a super active toddler who needs to be in the middle of everything. Hmmm... I wonder where he got THAT personality trait?

John Mark tried watermelon for the first time while we were there. He wasn't so sure about it at first, but once he dug in, it was love at first taste. Then again, this big guy just loves to eat! He thinks it is pretty much the best part of life- and I can't say that I don't agree with him just a little bit! :o)

We spent a lot of time in Duncan with Grandma, which meant a lot of time with our family we don't get to see that often. One night the grandkids were sitting around playing cards and drinking coffee. It was so funny to us that we were suddenly doing what we thought was SOOO boring when we were younger, we just had to take a picture.

Another special part of our time together was seeing John Mark and Hunter together. Actually, most of our time was spent trying to keep John Mark from poking Hunter in the eye, pinching him or just generally being too close to the baby. It was fun for Grandma to have her 2 great grandsons with her.

And just to show you how much of a big boy we have now, here is a cute picture of him standing in the grass all by himself. Mom and Aunt Judy tried really hard to get him to walk, but he just isn't ready, which is no complaint of mine! I'm not quite ready to chase him all over the place! Oh, and one more hilarious thing- John Mark barks now. We tried to get a video, but you can't hear him barking over everyone talking... so we'll try again!

see you in heaven, papa!

You're in a better place
I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times
I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken
the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is
then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength
to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now