1 year

dear john mark,

it has been one year since you were born. one year since you came into my life and changed my heart completely. as i sit here, tears are filling my eyes as i think of holding my sweet, helpless baby in the hospital last year, and i smile thinking of hilarious, beautiful little person you are becoming with each new day.

in church earlier today we sang the song "how great is our God." i cried remembering all the nights i sat in your bedroom, rocking you and singing that song over you as you cried. i cried as i remembered continuing to rock you long into the night just because i could.

and today (well, yesterday, but i wasn't with a computer) on your very first birthday, there's a few things that i want you to know.

first- i hope you know that you are loved. oh, sweet boy, how much you are loved! i love you. your daddy loves you. grandparents... great-grandparents... aunts, uncles, cousins... friends... teachers... you are LOVED! we may not always show our love to you in the right way, but it is my prayer that you know with every breath you take that someone, somewhere is thinking of you and loving you in that very moment.

second- you are fearfully and wonderfully made! you have a master designer that knit you together in my womb. God made you exactly the way you are, with every muscle made to His specification; each hair on your head numbered and fashioned to His perfection; ten fingers and ten toes put on your hands and feet by the One who has made the earth. i know a day will come when you won't feel wonderful- but, baby, you are! you are beautiful and when the world saw you on your birthday, in unison our hearts cried out "he is very, very good!"

also- i believe in you. i know without any doubt in my mind that you can do anything you set your mind to. i can already see a stubborn streak in you- and i'm sure you will use that one day to achieve absolute GREATNESS! i can't wait to see what you are going to become as you grow into a man.

finally, and this is easily THE most important thing that I could ever hope for you- i want you to know JESUS. i want you to know the greatness of our God. more than any other thing i want to see you accomplish with your life- i long for you to know my Savior, to know Him intimately. i hope that with each day of your life, you know His love and that He is wrapping His arms around you. and someday, when you feel like you are all alone (because, as much as it hurts my mommy heart, i know that day will come), i want you to know with all assurance that you are NEVER alone. the God of the universe is with you. you need only to turn to Him.

these are just a few of the things that i pray you know on this very special day. happy birthday, sweet heart. i love you.

love,
mommy